Fantasy Coach Killers: The Mid-Season Marriage

The Sports Fantasy Pro Wizard is back again with the latest witty installment in his fantasy coach killers series. You think it’s a good idea to get married during Supercoach season? It might seem that way at the time but with all the planning required for a wedding and other activities, just how much time can you dedicate to your actual team?

FOR some coaches (probably manly supporters) marrying ones fiancé during the fantasy season (February to September) actually seems like a good idea.

“What could go wrong” they say, “she/he is really into fantasy and footy so it will all be sweet”.

What so many coaches wouldn’t give to return to such blissful innocence…


On the surface, a marriage no matter when the date should have next to no effect on your coaching ability.

Indeed, many coaches have the belief that popping the question could actually lead to a more settled club and therefore a more successful team.

Sadly this is not the case.

The first reason why marriage ranks amongst our top Coach Killers is due to the extra stress of marriages and the all-consuming task of planning the wedding.

Not only does this take time away from more important matters such as mid-week analysis or weekend footy watching but the realisation of a pending marriage sets off a chemical reaction in most coaches whereby things like fantasy sport seem less important the closer the wedding gets.

I know, it is hard to believe and you may well sit there and shrug ‘not this coach’.

But it has happened and continues to happen to many a good fantasy coach.

Trades, break-evens, deadlines – these normally vitally important concepts begin to play second fiddle to invitations, reception venues and the ‘real world’ of married life.

While this is most concerning in and of itself, it is the second reason that makes marriage one of the greatest Coach Killers known to fantasy sport.

Upon being pronounced man and wife, the pecking order of your fantasy footy club changes instantly.

Imagine a footy club that one day is run by a successful and likeable Head Coach who knows the game inside out and the next day the board installs an autocratic ‘Coaching Director’ who barely knows a Sherrin from a Steeden to oversee every single move.

Time spent with the team, club budget – even the team colours can (and will) be vetoed by this new Director of Coaching.

It can tear at the fabric of even the strongest club.


Alas for the fantasy footy world, monogamy seems to be going nowhere.

Every day sensible, free-spirited coaches are hitching their teams’ fortunes to a Coaching Director who seldom has the best interests of the team at heart.

The only (limited) success that coaches have had combating this Coach Killer is to tie the knot in late October where there is the most amount of time before a new season.

During this off season period coaches have found that if enough time passes their partner often relinquishes the role of Coaching Director particularly if they are busy decorating a new house.

But during the season, the ONLY single thing that has had any measure of success is the purchasing a small fluffy puppy.

Sure you will have holes in your socks and your beer fridge will smell like dog food, but more often than not you will be able to coach in peace while your partner takes your well spent $500 for walks!

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